COLUMN: Pita Pit closing was inevitable because West Virginia is fat and lazy
Just a warning, I may write some things here that are upsetting and hurtful, so if you couldn’t tell by the title, this is going to be a very blunt and honest column. I’m not here to mince words or pump you full of bullshit.
Pita Pit is closing its doors after 5 years of business in Princeton, West Virginia, the owners announced on a Facebook post early Saturday morning.
While many people like myself thought this was an April Fools joke, I knew deep down that it wasn’t. Sadly, it makes total and perfect sense. I say this because it took guts to open a health-oriented restaurant like Pita Pit in a state like West Virginia, the fattest state in America for going on close to 10 years now. I was a proud customer of Pita Pit, every day of my life, for close to the entirety of the five years that it was in business. Let me be the first to say this, too. That establishment was ran with such impeccable class and truly wonderful customer service. Every employee I ever met in Pita Pit was smart, funny, outgoing and just had great work ethic. Second to none. You don’t find that in 98% of the places in this area. The owners felt like your best friend, and to me, I will always feel that they are. Daniel and Loren, if you somehow read this, I love you and I thank you for doing everything within your power to help a community that has no interest in helping itself. Your focus, drive and mission was always in the best interest of the people who dined at Pita Pit. Thank you for everything!
Pita Pit closing makes sense to me for a number of reasons. The people in West Virginia, and in the Mercer County community specifically, have extraordinarily terrible dietary habits. I mean it truly is awful. Let’s face it, it’s much more convenient, cheaper and tastier to drive through the McDonald’s drive-through and get a double cheeseburger with a large fry and wash it down with a large sweet tea. That’ll cost you around $7 or $8 dollars and less than five minutes to make while you sit your lard ass in your vehicle. The new Dunkin’ Donuts location in Green Valley made like $40,000 on opening day a week ago. The next day it made like $24,000. Of course it did. You know what Dunkin’ Donuts has to offer you? Sugar and caffeine. That’s it. When you boil it down, Dunkin’ Donuts made $64,000 (roughly) in 48 hours on nothing but sugar and caffeine. Sugar is responsible for type-two diabetes and heart disease, something that also plagues West Virginia at an alarming rate. Current researchers say that sugar is nothing but a “slow-acting poison” on the body.
I've said this a lot and will say it again: SUGAR IS POISON. Take the proof from @drmarkhyman himself. https://t.co/EJUkqliL9S pic.twitter.com/wcz0EmCsJA
— Peter H. Diamandis, MD (@PeterDiamandis) April 1, 2023
Do the people of West Virginia give a shit about that? No. Check the data. It’s the fattest state in America every single year and it really isn’t close. Mississippi likes to make a run at that #1 spot, but ultimately falls short to Mountain Mama (and yes, we have some that are big as a mountain).
I, for one, am truly saddened and disappointed at what this community is doing to itself. You guys remember Bucha Brewhouse? Of course you don’t. Why? Because it had original, fresh, authentic and healthy menu items, something that you are not interested in. The place was so cool, too. The owners were also great. The atmosphere inside was just perfect. It gave me MAJOR One Tree Hill vibes. The music that would play over the speakers, the set up on the inside. Everything about it was just different, and that is exactly what this area needed. Not another mexican joint. For those that haven’t quite figured it out yet, Campestre’s is top dog and people are going to eat there 99 times out of 100. You are not going to compete with it. Sorry.
The state of West Virginia has more obese people living in it than any other state in the United States of America. West Virginia also has the highest youth obesity rate in the entire country, leading the way at 26.0%. Want some facts? I got ’em. According to the most recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than seven in 10 U.S. adults aged 20 and older are either overweight or obese. In the rankings, West Virginia is listed as having the highest percentage of obese adults, 4th highest percentage of obese children, 4th highest percentage of overweight children, tied for first with having the highest percentage of adults with high cholesterol, 3rd in the percentage of adults with type 2 diabetes and 3rd in percentage of adults with high blood pressure. You guys gave him ABSOLUTE HELL, but a total stranger to this area pinpointed the exacts truths about this community. Dave Portnoy couldn’t help but notice what I like to call, “Fat Food Drive”.
To make matters even worse, no state in the country watches more television than West Virginia. While there are several factors that can affect weight, the number one leading cause of obesity is lack of physical activity. Therefore, it should not be surprising that West Virginia also watches more TV than any other state. According to a post by Verizon, West Virginians watch an average of almost four hours of TV every day, 3 hours, 57 minutes and 50 seconds to be exact. While four hours might seem like a long time to watch TV every day, it was actually a 74% decrease in watch time from 2019.
Look, I have pissed you off or informed you of some very relevant facts by now. I’m signing off. Be good to yourself, and others.
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